Defeating Your Inner Defeatist

July 8, 2024

Do you find yourself going through the motions and wondering, “What’s the point?”

Do you bemoan the feeling that no matter how much effort you put in, “nothing seems to change”?

Do you wish you could be more outwardly optimistic despite your proclivity towards pessimism?

Screen shot 2021 09 22 at 9. 50. 26 pm defeating your inner defeatist

Of the ten narrative types explored in my book Fire Your Narrator! A Storyteller’s Guide to Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life, the Defeatist is the most self-defeating.

The Defeatist is done before she even gets started. She’s like Eeyore, walking around with a giant cloud over her head. It’s sunny elsewhere and raining only on her. She has a hard time seeing the bright side of things or the potential for a better outcome.

If the Defeatist Narrator had a musical accompaniment, it would be the world’s tiniest violin.

Pexels evgeniya kuzmina 88531454 10924610 defeating your inner defeatist

Is There A Tiny Violin Playing Just For You?

Pexels simon leonardo 963113 defeating your inner defeatist

Poor little Defeatist Narrator! She’s so run down, confused, and self-loathing that she’s given up. What’s the point in trying if nothing will change? Even worse, why hang around with optimists when they clearly don’t understand these unfortunate circumstances?

She’d rather decline the umbrella and stay in the rain. She won’t look out at the horizon to see how the distant clouds are parting and will eventually reveal the blue skies above. She doesn’t see the optimal outcome ahead – another rain cloud is sure to be not far behind. Defeatist narrator defeating your inner defeatist

When the Defeatist Narrator stems from a larger issue or an underlying and overwhelming blanket of depression, controlling an inner narrator is only one part of the work necessary to change the storyline. A larger rewrite is necessary along with a helpful and aware Cast of Supporting Characters.

Here are 5 Tips to Defeat a Self-Defeating Narrator:

  • Identify times in the past in which your hard work paid off. Don’t discount small successes. Did you learn a new recipe or finish a jigsaw puzzle? Tangible results serve as evidence.
  • Focus on small activities that can help you feel a sense of positivity and momentum. Break bigger tasks into smaller ones. Before you can lose 50 pounds, aim to lose 5.
  • Surround yourself with optimistic people. Pessimism feeds on itself. Let someone else shine a light.
  • Get some healthy perspective. Acknowledge all that’s going right in your life. If you have clean running water, an ample food supply, and electricity, you’re doing better than a third of the world’s population. Volunteer. Read. Get out of your head!
  • Take care of your physical self. Get enough rest, sunlight, healthy nutrition, quiet time, and opportunities for fun.

That voice in your head thinks it’s protecting you from future failure when all it is doing is holding you back.

Small steps can lead to a big change! Start by believing that change is possible.

It’s time to defeat that inner defeatist and cast yourself as the heroine in your own success story.

Valerie gordon fire your narrator book defeating your inner defeatist

Find out more about the book here.

Valerie gordon your story matters web defeating your inner defeatist

Valerie Gordon is a longtime storyteller, author, and the founder of career and communication firm The Storytelling Strategist. She speaks at conferences and works with corporations to bridge the talent gap and help high-achieving women advance in the corporate world. She believes in the power of story and how our most influential stories are the ones we tell ourselves.





Blog Archive